A Journey to Gratitude

Drew Stockton instructs a yoga class

For Drew Stockton ’14 (standing, above), a battle with cancer led to an insight: People shouldn’t wait for a crisis to live the lives they want. Now, Stockton is ushering others toward healthier, more fulfilling lifestyles. (Photo by Kathryn Wray Rogers)

By the age of 25, Drew Stockton ’14 had honed an approach to overcoming life’s challenges. It was a blend of determination and perseverance — putting blinders on when barriers appeared and using sheer willpower to plow forward.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going,” as the quote attributed to Winston Churchill puts it. Build enough momentum toward a destination, then lower your shoulders and brace for impact. The laws of physics dictate that you will smash through obstacles in your path.

In those first 25 years, this approach served Stockton well. He earned good grades in high school in Atlanta, Georgia, although he said academics were never his natural strength. He excelled in athletics as a starter on the football team and an all-state selection in baseball. He was perhaps undersized next to other athletes, but he played with fearless abandon, never shying away from competition or contact.

“It always surprised me he didn’t get hurt basically every game,” said childhood friend and high school classmate Bryan Wethington. “There was a chip on his shoulder, and he would just throw himself in there against bigger guys.”

The headlong style helped him regroup after an initial admissions rejection from Carolina, Stockton’s dream school since his childhood days of cheering on Tar Heel basketball teams with his father, a graduate of the UNC School of Law.

“It stung, but I wasn’t just going to give up at the first bit of negative news I got,” Stockton said. “I felt like I could either sit there in my own bitterness or I could try to do something about it.”

So Stockton organized an appeal and arranged a meeting with an admissions director who reversed the decision after an extended interview.

Once at Carolina, his outgoing personality helped him quickly find social connections, despite coming to Chapel Hill from out of state and only knowing a handful of fellow incoming first-years. In his dorm suite, high-intensity FIFA video game matchups provided an avenue to form friendships.

“You get to campus freshman year and you don’t know anyone, but Drew was very good at bringing people together,” said Felipe Villahoz ’14, Stockton’s suitemate. “A lot of it was in sports or in those FIFA games. He’s very competitive and would let you know he had won, but it was all in fun. I’d call his personality infectious.”

Stockton’s older brother, Brian ’11, was a Carolina senior when Drew was a freshman and provided the template for balancing academics with fun through their fraternity, Phi Delta Theta. Drew soon thrived on Carolina’s expansive opportunities for extracurricular activity. He was a mainstay on intramural teams and had a knack for navigating Chapel Hill’s vast social scene.

“The special part about Carolina is the community,” Stockton said. “Just walking the campus or at a basketball game and everyone there shares this community and is connected. That was special to me then, and it’s become even more meaningful to me now.”

Drew majored in economics and minored in Spanish, developing a passion for the language and serving as a volunteer tutor at a local high school. Soon after graduation, he landed a job in commercial real estate at a large bank in Atlanta.

As he settled back into his hometown after college, it appeared Stockton’s life approach was a winner. Through his blend of determination, competitive spirit and willpower, he had built the momentum necessary to reach an enviable destination: a Carolina degree and a great job, surrounded by a familiar community in a booming and desirable city for a young person at the start of his adult life.

So it made sense that when life presented its biggest obstacle yet, Stockton instinctively turned to his well-tested strategy of simply barreling forward.

The Diagnosis

In May of 2017, battling what he thought was a springtime flu with swelling in his lymph nodes, Stockton went to see a doctor who then ran some lab tests. When the doctor called with results, Stockton was at work and sitting alone in a conference room. He needed a moment to process the words he had just heard: You have cancer.

Stockton took a breath and realized he was crying. He wiped a few tears from his eyes, then gathered his emotions and promptly returned to his desk to go about his usual workday, telling none of his colleagues about the devastating news he had just received.

“I wanted things to be normal,” he said. “I wanted to handle this. My immediate reaction was like, ‘You’re at work. Come on, you can handle this.’”

Reflecting on his diagnosis, Stockton later wrote: “​​It was as if I was putting my helmet on for a football game and preparing to take the hits. I would listen to whatever the doctors had to say and get it over with ASAP so I could return to my normal life.”

In other words, keep going.

Drew Stockton sits cross-legged at a yoga class

The diagnosis was serious and the treatment would be grueling, but there was reason for optimism. Stockton’s cancer, Hodgkin lymphoma, is considered treatable. With the combination of good medical care and Stockton’s characteristic resolve, it seemed realistic to believe that he would soon recover.

Stockton started a regimen of chemotherapy, undergoing eight total treatments over the course of a summer. Even though the adverse effects of the chemo became progressively worse with each round, Stockton counted his blessings every time he entered the infusion center. In September of 2017, his treatment concluded successfully.

“I was very sick, but I never felt like I was truly fighting for my life,” Stockton said. “I know others had it way worse, so even though I had cancer I felt like I was fortunate. I had a sense of gratitude throughout the process.”

Onward to Inward

Like many cancer survivors, Stockton’s gratitude also led to introspection. This was an uncomfortable place for someone who had always focused on what was ahead, rather than pausing to look inward. But it was necessary, and the questions were difficult.

Why did he, even before his illness, feel anxiety and insecurity — often faint but always present? What, beyond a paycheck, did he truly love about his career? If his prevailing feeling was gratitude for his health, shouldn’t he focus more on being truly healthy?

Initially, Stockton thought a short hiatus from his job and a bit of travel would help him resolve these questions to his satisfaction. But those travels made him wonder more about finding peace and happiness in his life. Bigger changes were in order.

Stockton decided to permanently leave his job at the bank and embarked on a longer journey through South America and then eventually to a meditation retreat in Jesup, Georgia. “It was 10 days of silence and meditation,” Stockton said. “No talking, no reading, no exercise — just your thoughts and your body.”

Drew Stockton talking to a yoga class

Stockton described that prolonged inward focus as a moment of clarity. He understood that pursuit of the connection between mind and body health and his happiness was his future. From there, he embraced opportunities to learn about meditation, nutrition and healthier lifestyles.

As he considered a permanent move to a Spanish-speaking country, he also reconnected with a favorite instructor from the Spanish minor program at Carolina, Grant Gearhart, who recommended Stockton serve as an English-speaking assistant teacher at a school in Valencia, Spain.

“The opportunity to have great teachers and mentors like Dr. Grant Gearhart in my life is something I am grateful for,” Stockton said. “One of the strengths of Carolina is it being a big place where you could pursue a lot of different things, but also have personal connections and mentorship, and that is what Grant has meant to me.”

The sunny weather in Valencia and the rewarding job teaching English provided the perfect setting for Stockton to focus on his personal transformation. He continued to advance his training in meditation practices and yoga. He studied nutrition and tested himself through endurance training.

Serving Others

Stockton has written a definition of yoga that includes this thought:

Yoga is a self-care practice that develops a stronger and more flexible body, a calmer mind, and a more resilient nervous system. These benefits travel beyond the mat into all aspects of everyday life.

Some of these qualities were naturally prevalent for Stockton. Was he strong and resilient? Absolutely. That’s how he had fought through every challenge in his life, including cancer. But other characteristics lay dormant. Flexibility? No, and certainly not in a mental or spiritual sense. His instinct was to bend the world to fit his goals. Calm? Childhood and college friends described him as electric, fiery, intense — but the word “calm” was never used.

These traits were there but required attention to manifest in his personality. Stockton understood that he had to cultivate these characteristics to foster a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle.

His reflections also led to an insight. Cancer had been an inflection point for him, but crisis shouldn’t be necessary to effect personal change and growth. Stockton realized that there were likely to be many people who, like him, could benefit from meditation, introspection and a more intentional approach to healthy living.

As he gained more confidence in his own abilities and earned certifications through classes and coursework, Stockton felt ready to usher others through the same practices that were benefitting him. This started with yoga classes that he offered informally to friends and family back in the United States via Zoom.

Drew Stockton typing on a laptop in a cafe

Those closest to Stockton said it was a little jarring to see the person they knew as a hard-charging former finance guy sitting on a yoga mat, calmly talking them through poses and breathwork. But this disconnect also had a way of making the sessions even more impactful. Brian Stockton was among his younger brother’s first yoga students, and now attends yoga classes near his home in Brooklyn, New York, almost weekly.

“For whatever reason, men may feel like yoga isn’t really for them and have self-imposed boundaries about new experiences like that,” Brian said. “I think Drew’s life experiences and personality traits make him very well positioned to break through that and help people get unstuck.”

Sensing that his sessions were having a positive effect, Stockton decided to commit himself professionally to the mission of helping others live healthier and more rewarding lives. In 2022, he founded MÁS Health, a health and wellness coaching company.

“I wanted to return the favor and the gift that my journey since cancer had given me,” Stockton said. “I had been learning at my own pace and not feeling rushed, and then I finally felt that I had the experience and the skills and ability to share with others.

“I’ve gotten to a healthier place in my life and been able to get past some of the self-limiting mindset and feelings of insecurity that I had,” Stockton continued. “All of that has come with a lot of help from many people, and it’s my turn to help others. It’s an honor that I have clients that trust me, and that’s something I take very seriously.”

Wethington, Stockton’s friend from childhood and now an entrepreneur and business owner, quickly signed on for Stockton’s coaching. He’s completed more than two dozen sessions, which he said have supported him through a transformative year.

“I have employees and clients who I feel responsible for,” Wethington said. “My goal is always to be caring and intentional in the opportunities I have to serve them. Working with Drew has created a consistent place for me to revisit and stay focused on that goal.”

As MÁS Health and Stockton’s role as a professional wellness and life coach launches, those close to him say that while the new career represents a turn they would not have expected a decade ago, it also is absolutely consistent with the best qualities and characteristics that they already knew were in him.

“The health and life coaching I would not have predicted, but what I would have predicted is that he would be helping others,” said Villahoz, Stockton’s college suitemate. “I’ve seen that aspect of him since we lived together. He cares deeply about others and through all the changes in his life, that is something that I’m sure will stay the same.”